Josh: What would you say to a guy who had a “friend-with-benefits”?
P2 Crew: Think about it… not only are you putting yourself and your “friend” on the line for pregnancy and STD’s, but don’t you’re playing with that person’s emotions and the emotions of your girlfriend. By engaging in this behavior you put all 3 people at risk. When you engage in intimate behavior, your heart gets involved. Intimacy is designed to bond two people together. It WILL begin to bond you, even if you’re just playing around , so take intimacy seriously and don’t play with your own heart or someone else’s. Real friends have respect for each other.
Teens that have sex often experience worry, regret, guilt, and lowered self-esteem.
Girls that have sex are
- 3 times more likely to be depressed
- 3 times more likely to commit suicide
Boys that have sex are…
- 2 times more likely to be depressed
- 8 times more likely to commit suicide.
(Rector, et al.)
Josh: I’ve had sex lots of times and I don’t feel depressed.
P2 Crew: How about when you see your ex-girlfriend with another guy? Keep in mind, depression isn't the only possible emotional obstacle someone could encounter as a result of sexual behavior. Some other possible obstacles include: anger, jealousy, dependance, pre-occupation and regret. Not to mention memories that could get stuck in your head. Do you want past experiences to impact your wedding night?
The Love Chemicals…
Not to be confused with oxycontin (the drug), oxytocin is known as the “love chemical” because it’s released during sex. Women release the chemical oxytocin and guys release vasopressin. The purpose of these chemicals is to establish a permanent bond between sexual partners. When two people have sex in a committed relationship (yes, I’m hinting at marriage, not bf/gf of the month or year) it creates a STRONG bond. However, when a person has sex with more than one person, oxytocin and vasopressin cannot work the way that they are supposed to.
Dopamine plays an additional role in the psychological need to repeat pleasurable acts. In other words, it can cause you to get addicted to sexual behavior, making it difficult for you stop sexual activity in your current relationship and wait for sex in future relationships. More partners means more risks for you.
However, If you have already had sex...there is hope by disengaging in sexual activity until you've taken the time to develop a healthy relationship based on love and trust while commiting yourself to one life time partner.
Kelly: How do I know if I’m really in love?
P2 Crew: There are 4 different types of love. Check it out!
- Storgae – Affection
- Philio -- Friendship
- Eros – Romance or desire for things
- Agape – Unconditional Love
Are you obsessed with your bf/gf? You might be experiencing infatuation. Infatuation isn’t love. Love is genuine; it's an action showing care and concern, it takes time to grow. Infatuation is simply a feeling that comes and goes.
The Love Test
Try going 30 days without any physical contact and see if your relationship lasts. Is it love or infatuation?
If you want to know if it’s love, set a boundary. Say, “I don’t want you to cross this line”. Love = respect. If they love you, they will respect your boundaries and not only care about what’s best for them but also what’s best for YOU!
Don’t want to deal with depression and looking for real love? You may want to Avoid the Risk.